a motion study of a falling vase reflecting on movement, stillness, and rest.

A free falling object is an object that is falling under the sole influence of gravity.

Now, I am no Physics scholar, but I can appreciate this concept because it reflects how I’ve been navigating life in quarantine during the Covid-19 Pandemic. (Day: 172)

In the beginning, I wanted to be in control soo bad, at all times. In control of my mental health, what I gave my attention to, how I protected myself and my family in this season, etc. I was seeking balance. Balance in prioritizing my mental wellbeing while showing face in the world. Balance in managing fear and anxiety while fighting for social justice. Balance the stress of #WFH and also savoring the small moments at home. Balance being present in the now but also anxiously awaiting the “new normal” post-covid.

But if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we are not in control. The GAG is, there’s no balance to be found. (surprise!)

And so that realization is the invisible element that pushed me to free fall. I am surrendering to the pull of gravity. I am surrendering to my God. I am recognizing that I am indeed not in control, and release all of “IT” to Him. I tried my hardest to find balance in the past 6 months, and the search has been overwhelming, to say the least. So, I give up. I will be still and rest in the assurance of His righteousness.