03/13- a dose of black joy to soothe your mournful week.

My attempt at capturing black joy.—

This week has been rough for us.— On Tuesday, we let out a sigh of relief as George Floyd was redeemed with the long-awaited justice he deserves. But though justice's triumph echoed through our streets, homes, and social media timelines, grief yet again snuck its way back into our hearts as we mourned the fatal shooting of 16-year-old Ma’Khia Bryant. As we collectively rejoiced at the glimmering hope of change that peeked over the horizon, racial injustice’s dark cloud quickly dimmed its light and reminded us that this is indeed only the beginning.

This rollercoaster of Black mourning is exhaustiiiinnggg.
We are tired of crying out for justice.
We are tired of overcompensating to get you to see us as human.
We are tired of living and walking in fear.
We are tired of countering your preconceived notions about us.
We are tired of mourning the deaths of our fathers, sisters, children, and friends.
We are tired.

This week really threw me out of whack and it FR is by God’s grace that I got through. I'm scared. I don't feel comfortable here. I don't feel welcomed here. Everyday life is exhausting here. I don’t wanna be here. But I’m trying. I really am. I show up every day with crippling fear in my heart but a bright smile on my face and strength on my shoulders. The love of my Father and the sweet embrace of my community keeps me hopeful. My black joy is the backbone of my resilience.

Photography is more of a medium of healing for me than a hobby with a monetary value. Capturing the special moments of my family and friends LITERALLY spiritually, mentally, and physically fuels me to keep faith and trust in the sweet promise of tomorrow.

So um... this is me sharing with you the black joy that fuels and energizes me every day. When I feel invisible, ignored, and overlooked, I look back on these beautiful moments that I've had the honor of capturing of the beautiful people in my life and they gently reaffirm my being and my purpose. And I hope they will do the same for you.

May these moments of love, joy, and tenderness remind you that your life matters.
Your joy matters.
Your wellbeing matters.
Your future matters.
You matter.—

I want to create from a place of me.

November 2019

This post is a study of my interaction with, Argentinian Multidisciplinary Artist, Vivian Suter's solo exhibition that is currently on view at the Institute of Contemporary Art (ICA)-- Boston, Ma. This reflection summarizes how I experienced, interpreted and internalized Vivian's work. This is me sharing the lessons that I've learned from it and hope to incorporate into my own practice.

Vivian's work is real

it is raw

and it speaks to me.

It is a gentle reminder of the whole concept of "l'art pour l'art"-- art for the sake of art, and reaffirms that I must create from a place of freedom, curiosity, realness, and wholeness.

This show resonated with me so deeply. I admire the vibrant colors and how Vivian incorporates nature, earth, and her environment into the work that she creates. It's one thing to see photos online and how others have captured them, but when you go yourself and see these gigantic canvases in person, it is a breath-taking experience. The perfectly imperfect paint strokes, paw prints, leaves, twigs, scratches, splashed, rain stains, etc. So real, so raw. Each canvas telling a different story. Each approaching a whole different narrative.

Vivian's work is avant-garde.

It is a free, beautiful, captivating, breath of fresh air, and it completely redefined “art” for me and how it is "supposed to be" created.

I always thought that the artist has to go on a sabbatical and lock themselves in their studio for decades to create their masterpieces. But Vivian listens to herself. She will start her a new painting inside, and if her intuition tells her that it's a beautiful day to paint outside, she'll drag the huge canvas outside and continue with the work. And I just admire the freedom that she expresses.

I am obviously no painter (well, you never know.. maybe one day), but I am an artist and I want to also "paint a picture" through the work that I create- both literally through photography and art direction and figuratively through my writing. I want to paint a picture that is real, raw, the best representation of me, my beliefs and values, what matters to me, and what I stand for. I want my work to tell my story.

Thank you, Vivian, for reminding me that I should create from a place of love, curiosity, realness, wholeness.

A place of me- and not necessarily what art history or the digital age has told me that "art" is.

A place where I've internalized the whole concept of art, defined it for myself, and am now creating from a place of best.

A place where I am creating in my genius.

A place that means something to me.

Thank you, sis.